Farmers Market Lingo

Watermelon season has begun, which means for the next few weeks, I'll be eating, sleeping, and--yes--blogging at the S.C. Farmer's Market in an effort to make some cheddar for school tuition, rent, etc.  For those of you who don't know--or remember--this is the place that I entered the blogosphere last August, although I didn't speak too much of this subject, since it was near season's end.  

Upon returning, I've noticed that not much has changed; still, the same people, same places, same nasty-ass bathrooms.  With that being said, I feel it necessary to introduce to you a few of these people, places, and trends.  Let's spare the bathrooms.  Visual aides will be added to this quasi "Farmers Market Dictionary and Who's Who" as I become talented enough to request photo ops without outing myself as a true and complete Asshole.  

SC Farmers Market:  Columbia, SC - Farmers Market operated by the state dept. of Agriculture.  Located across from the Williams Brice Stadium (Gamecock football) AND... Bojangles.  

Watermelon Shed:  Large, garage-style building at the very back of the market.  All the shit (fights, arguments, arrests) happens here.  This is where I sell my watermelons--Stall 420, to be exact.

Hole-In-Tha-Wall:  Literally, a HOLE-IN-THE-WALL take-out restaurant.  The food is soulful, but I have NEVER seen a harder-on-the-eyes crew.  Even worse than Bojangles.  It took me several attempts, before I could actually eat food from there.  

Bojangles:  A chicken and biscuit joint that also has "fixin's" at the entrance to the market 400 yards away from stall 420--usually found on corners in less desirable hoods.  I will have to admit, much better than Church's and KFC, but definitely not Zaxby's or Popeye's. 

 Side note:  This is also where I hike to relieve myself.  Only #1, though.  I have a public-bathroom-shitting phobia.  However, there was once when I just couldn't hold it.  Worst.Day.of.My.Life.  TMI.

Well, I think that's the key points within the market that I frequent, with the exception of a gas station outside of the gate that I occasionally get a case of Budlight from, and a Sonic a couple of miles away that I have been known to "run-off" to when I have a "Help I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here Breakdown."  A typical sentence that the redneck sellers have said when referring to a Sonic escape by me:  "That boy's dunn run-off uhgeen down der ta Sonic.  How da hell he think he gone sale anything an he an the wuhturmelins done run-off?"  I know, bad pronunciation key, but you get the idea.

Well, hopefully this has created a mental map of the area that will probably be influencing my posts for a couple of weeks.  It's about lunchtime and I think I hear Sonic calling my name.  

Up Next:  Meet the people from the market.  I'll try to get some photos up in a bit.

Sunday Artwork

"3 A.M. Artwork"

Sunday Fun Quote

Okay Seriously...

On Easter Sunday, pastor Todd Hahn prefaced his sermon by saying, "I hope many of you are tweeting this morning about your experience with God."

Okay, where is this church?  Can I play Veggie Tale video games?  Do they serve refreshments DURING the service?  I'm there.